
ROLEPLAY SAMPLE
Seeing as I am quite new to the LJ format, I decided to post a sample of my old forum RP writing ability. Critique is requested to see whether or not I really do have Arcueid down and areas where I can improve are greatly appreciated.
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-sssh- The sound of the wind and rustling of leaves reigned over Arcueid's sense of hearing when she rushed into the thicket like a mad Berserker. She smelled her victims nearby and could already taste the sweet liquor on her lips, pure anticipation robbing her off the last bit of self control. After catching up with them, just some kettle for vampires, she began to rip them apart, while a mad grin on her face betrayed all signs of humanity.
The huge amounts of bloodshed brought forth horror in some men, before she digged her oversized fangs into another to claim the next victim. They were helpless and red nectar of life poured down on the ground and all over her white dress, one worth being worn by a noble. Even worse than most other vampires, she did not just quench her thirst, but instead she played with them, like a little child with insects and her wasteful behavior knew no bounds.
She had succumbed to her urges, an unsatiable thirst driving her on and turning the princess into a ravenous beast. Plunging her teeth greedily into those humans to feed, she was filled with a mind numbing bliss, that continued to dull her consciousness like she was drugged. Deep inside, she screamed in horror as she helplessly had to watch herself in an act of destruction. Arcueid paid witness to herself performing those dastardly deeds, she had always hoped to suppress and worse of all felt that soon even the last shreds of her mind would accept this fate and become her worst enemy.
The corruption was creeping into her mind and clutching on her heart, which felt heavier and heavier, each swipe of her claw producing more harm and guilt, and then she was upon another. He was already about to die, but her body paused for a moment. Something about this man seemed familiar, and her golden eyes of warped desire fell on the most prominent physical feature in front of her, a scar.
The fingertips, previously a tool for murder, brushed gently over the old wound, drawing a bloody line with blood, left over from the massacre on the boy's chest. She began to tremble, scared to go on, but continued. She could not bear the uncertainty, perhaps it was even worse than the thirst and the madness. Only seconds passed, until the finger had reached the cheek, giving it a final tender stroke, before uttering a name with an inhuman voice.
"Sh--shi...ki?"
The greatest horror had come true. She had killed him, him of all people. The only one who had formed a contact with this monster, known as the True Ancestor. She had slaughtered the end of her loneliness! Nothing could be worse. Stretching the fangs of doom as far apart as possible, a loud horror stricken scream echoed through the wood.
"ROAAAAR!!
But for most it would just be the successful roar of a beast. The most suitable successor for the Aristoteles of the Moon could not even bemoan the death of her most important person. She was indeed no more than a pitiful monster....
.........
"NO! .. Huh? ... ... ... " Arcueid awoke, her eyelids flared open and a stinging pain pushed straight into her head. Blinding light shot into her open pupils and made her flinch. It had just been a dream and she could feel the presence of someone nearby.
"Shiki! Where have you been? I grew tired of waiting."
She stopped herself from worrying and him in his tracks, before he could ask questions or comment on her little nap in the middle of the day. This little nightmare should remain her secret and disappear into the depths of her consciousness like so many other. Fortunately enough, the young man with glasses had a soothing effect on her mind and managed to drag her away from the cold horror of worries. Arcueid flung into his arms, like a little child greeting her dearest father and smiled with an equally childish expression.
"Can we go now? You promised. Ne~ Shiki~" She could hardly await what great things he would show her this time around.
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Date: 2012-07-09 06:54 pm (UTC)From:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6M_6qOz-yw